Currently, my pockets contain, an old hair bobble, a clean tissue and some pennies which, ironically will never amount to anything; they've not seen the light of day in a long time. My pockets also unfortunately resemble my current bank balance which, at the end of three years at uni, is looking rather pathetic. So please, let me take this moment to wallow in my self pity, regretting the takeaways and drinks I've frittered my pounds away on and tell you what I would buy if my current account allowed it:
Everyone is going clinical for summer. By that I don't mean they're having dental treatments or liposuction for the summer months, although many undoubtedly will be, but rather bloggers, vloggers and celebs are wearing white. Now I don't know about you, but the thought of dressing in white fills me with fear. The colour comes with a warning notice, beware, put me on and I will show the world all the muck you live in. Foundation finger marks run amok on white skinnies, dinner dribbles poke fun at you from the front of shirts. Even creases seem one hundred times worse on white blazers, shirts and skirts. But when high fashion calls, what's a girl to do? My excuse is the cost of replacing said white items once you've mucked them up and I, being the clumsy, messy girl I am know that a loan wouldn't cover the damage I'd do to my bright whites. Yes, I'd love to own some gorgeous white skinnies, a crop top, or even some white loafers care of CK, but real life isn't LA or even Coachella. Life is Glastonbury and Bolton town center on a Saturday and therefore, such items would be totally impractical.
If I was a size 6 with a bikini bod I'd go into my overdraft for one of these beauties, a patterned two piece in paisley would be ideal for the *hot*, summer months. Alas, I'm not, so I shan't. However, after just discovering Depop, a fab new app where the fashionable can sell their unwanted pieces as bargain prices, my feed has been inundated with custom made two pieces to suit any shape and size. For 22 quid, I can have my own shorts/skirt and crop top number crafted for me in a variety of materials, a great deal and one which I shall definitely partake in when my funds are restored. In the meantime, I'm avoiding toppers, river island and the like, their two pieces are fab and fit well, but standing next to a size 6 blonde in the same outfit, I'm bound to look like a heffalump. I'd rather find something a little more unusual than stay mainstream.
everyone is mad for them and the sun's not even out yet! page after page of these 'crazy' specs have appeared in fashion mags everywhere. is it just me, or is this trend not so special? They're just sunglasses made from wood. It's not really that new and they don't look that different from standard specs anyway. This sniffy response to fashion's latest love would be flipped on its head if I actually owned a pair of these glasses, however I don't and I wont. If you're really going to get excited about a look that's as transient as Casper, whilst also resembling a Flintstones-style accessory, then a least go for a designer pair, a la Bodi or Finlay & co.
Nike Liberty Trainers
This season it's all about the streamlined sports look and designers are desperate to colaborate with the biggest sports brand in the industry. I'm incredibly excited for the Adidas range designed by Mary Katrantzou, which will be hitting the high street in the near future. in the meantime, someone, anyone, buy me a pair of the liberty print Nikes? gorgeous prints teamed with brown rope-style laces, these trainers are the epitome of impractical footwear. i would neither run nor walk in the beauties, heck they'd probably never leave the box! Regardless, the fabulous design of these trainers makes them more of a work of art, than your bog standard pair of running shoes. The design offers your feet bags of support, making them the most sensible and most stylish shoes on the market.
For Love & Lemons clobber
The Coachella bloggers filled my Instagram and twitter feed last weekend, leaving me practically suffocated by palm trees, swimming pools and sweaty rock bands. I'm not complaining, I'm all for a good festival, especially one with celebs, bloggers and vloggers galore gracing the desert in for life and lemons, the current favourite label of stylistas and hipsters alike. The range basically comprises of totally impractical yet fabulous dresses, two pieces and lace tops that hide as little of your bod as humanly possible. skin tight and perfect with a tan, these printed beauties are top of my wish list, regardless of the fact they'd definitely do nothing for my lady lumps.
I'm not talking agent provocateur, don't worry, but I've got serious style envy of the blogging elite in their butter soft leather pieces. Even though I've got my own cheap and cheerful versions, boy it just ain't the real thing. I'd kill for a cream leather mini skirt, but then again, my life definitely doesn't call for one. Worn in the day, I'd look overdressed for the library, constantly changing seats to stop creases, worn at night, it wouldn't make it through the evening without someone spilling Jaegermeister down it. So kids, the moral of this story is, you can't own pretty things until the rest of your life is perfected, minimalist decor n'all. Unfortunately, I don't think I could ever do 'minimalist', it might be a little unnatural, so I'll sacrifice my leather lovelies in exchange for PVC versions and hope that after a few glasses of wine, I won't notice the difference.